(This is pretty much Cassie's fault, okay. But I felt like it had to happen. I also just really liked imagining Bruce listening to this song. I do not own any of this.)
Tony Stark finds a very interesting video and decides to share. Maria Hill is less than pleased.
“Agent Hill.” Fury’s tone was that of a man desperately trying to hold onto the shred of control he still had over a situation. “What in fresh hell is this?”
Everybody come and play, throw every last care away! Let’s go to the mall…today!
Completely straight-faced, but not quite able to look him in the eye, Hill replied, “Unfortunate but necessary choices from my youth, sir.” She then turned to glare at Tony, who had sauntered into the room just a few moments before with his smartphone in hand and said “Hey guys, check out this video I found last night” before pressing play.
It’ll be just him and me (but don’t forget the robot)
Tony smirked. “Needed to pay for school, Hill? I’m sure that’s something we can all relate to, except for, you know, me.”
About the time the first chorus had started, Clint had turned his head and started faking a coughing fit – badly – to try to disguise his laughter. To her credit, Natasha seemed more amused by his reaction than the video itself, but she did keep glancing at the phone and chuckling.
That’s okay, I’m gonna rock your body anyway, I’m gonna rock your body ‘til Canada Day!
Steve suddenly went pale and looked as if someone had punched him in the stomach. “Agent Hill,” he gasped, “I…I had no idea you were…Canadian…” He flushed. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that! I hear Canada is, is a lovely country…”
I want hoop earrings and a Benetton shirt, we came here to shop and we came here to flirt!
Bruce said nothing, but he’d closed his eyes and was smiling and bobbing his head to the beat of the music.
Thor smiled also; he looked mesmerized. “I have heard of this mall! Darcy spoke of it on occasion – she wanted Jane to go with her so that they might purchase undergarments from the establishment of the maiden Victoria, who desires that her operations remain covert. She said there is also a court with a wide selection of delicacies to eat for when one has returned victorious from one’s shopping. I am not surprised you were so jubilant about it, Lady Hill – it sounds like a most enjoyable destination! I should like to journey there at some point.”
Everybody LOVES the mall!
Tony was still holding the phone, grinning like a cat with a saucer of cream. “I also found something called the Beaver Song? Hill, I had no idea you had such an interest in…small woodland creatures.”
Hill briefly considered the odds of successfully pleading that shooting one of the world’s most high-profile businessmen (and a revered superhero on top of it) in the knee was caused by a gun malfunction. If only there weren’t six witnesses.